STOP

DATING VIOLENCE AMONG ADOLESCENTS

WORKSHOP FOR SCHOOL STAFF

Coordination à la condition féminine
Lisette Bédard, Coordinator
Christiane Miville-Deschênes, Project Coordinator

This document is based on the Session de sensibilisation et d'information sur la violence dans les relations amoureuses des jeunes s'adressant au personnel scolaire developed by Francine Lavoie and Marjolaine Roy at Université Laval's École de psychologie. We would like to thank them for their contribution. All of the exercises and some of the text in this document are taken from STOP! Dating Violence among Adolescents-Classroom Activities, by Francine Lavoie, Annie Gosselin, Line Robitaille and Lucie Vézina.

Design and Development
Véronique Billette
Nancy Cooper
Annie Gosselin
Serge Rock Leclerc
Christiane Miville‑Deschênes

Graphies
Monique Chaussé
Carole Henry

Translation
Services à la communauté anglophone, Direction de la production en langue anglaise

Gouvernement du Quebec
Ministère de l'Éducation, 1995
ISBN 2‑550‑25275‑6
Legal Deposit - 1995 - 95-1005
Bibliothèque nationale du Quebec

INTRODUCTION

Aggressive behavior among adolescents is so common that we have come to tolerate violent words and actions without being aware of it. The purpose of this workshop is to make school. staff more aware of the need to intervene in preventing dating violence among adolescents.

Violence in intimate relationships is not physical at first. Before a couple gets to that point, there are other, more subtle forms of abuse that are every bit as destructive. Such forms of abuse slowly eat away at the victim, who begins to accept the situation as "almost normal," and there lies the root of the problem.

There have been a number of studies conducted on violence against women. Research done by universities, the Bureau de la statistique du Quebec and Statistics Canada has all arrived at the same conclusion: one woman in eight is a victim of conjugal violence.

There is a tendency to underestimate the seriousness of violence among adolescents. Yet, the number of cases of dating violence among adolescents is estimated at 20 percent' and 13 percent of Secondary IV boys admit to having used sexual violence at least once.( 2 ). Behaviors acquired during adolescence usually continue into adulthood.

There is a tendency also to underestimate the importance and influence of intimate relationships among adolescents. For adolescents, having a girlfriend or boyfriend is a means of attaining social recognition; certain abusive behaviors are sometimes accepted in order to maintain this recognition.

In order to be able to intervene in situations related to violence in dating relationships, it is essential both to accept that this violence exists and to question one's own ideas. Participants in this workshop may be confronted with prejudices or myths so long‑standing that they are deeply rooted.

'Shirley Litch Mercer, «Not a Pretty Picture: An Exploratory Study of Violence Against Women in High School Dating Relationships, * Resources for Feminist Research/Documentation sur la recherche féministe, 17, 2 (1988): 15‑23.

2 Marie‑Hélène Gagné, *La violence dans les relations amoureuses des adolescents et des adolescentes une étude quantitative," unpublished dissertation (École de psychologie, Université Laval, 1993), vol. 2, p. 28.

They may, therefore, react with surprise or disagree with certain facts presented. Some reactions may set in motion a process of questioning that will continue after the workshop. The implementation of the STOP! program in schools may encourage students to confide in resource persons and to request their help. It is essential that the resource persons know where they stand psychologically with regard to the problem. They will have to determine whether they feel able to implement the STOP! program and to provide the adolescents who come to sec them with support. The workshop is intended to help resource persons in this role.

A BRIEF HISTORY

Today, one out of every eight women is abused by her partner. Conjugal violence has led women to join together to assert their right to women's shelters. In Quebec, there are only 82 shelters for women victims of abuse and 24 therapy groups for violent men, yet the demand is much greater. Women's shelters cannot accommodate the population of abused women. In 1989‑90, the shelters took in 9 802 women and 6 053 children. Conjugal violence is equally present in every social class and in all age groups.

Only six percent of abused women make use of women's shelters. Statistics show that one of every five women in hospital emergency wards are there because of a violent episode at home.

Between 1987 and 1991, 88 Quebec women were killed by their partners or ex‑partners and 151 women were victims of attempted murder. In 1991, 10 226 cases of conjugal violence were reported to the police. Generally, aggressors are fined and ordered to "keep the peace" and, sometimes, to undergo therapy for violent men. Only a very few are sent to prison.

What does this have to do with adolescents in Secondary III and IV?

Women do not become abused and men do not become violent overnight. Abusive relationships are the result of a long‑standing pattern of neglected problem behaviors. That is why the STOP! program was developed. Violence in intimate relationships is as common among adolescents as it is among adults.

There is no such thing as a typical victim of dating violence. The submissive behaviors and weakness associated with victims of dating violence are the result of abuse rather than personality traits.

It is a commonly held belief in our society that women in violent relationships provoke their partners to the point of abuse. Some people even think that abused women and girls are happy with their situation, since they remain in it. This completely disregards the social, intimate and family contexts, and the fear and stress that abuse causes. Some abused adult women are able to, break the cycle of violence only after approximately 35 violent episodes.

Abused girls come to feel guilty and responsible for the abuse they believe they have provoked; that is why so few girls and women cry out against it. The popular belief that leaving an abusive partner will put an end to, the abuse is also false. If the partner does not accept her leaving, the abuse and harassment may escalate.

Also, contrary to popular belief, alcohol and drug use is not a cause of violence; rather, it is an external factor. Violent partners will, however, use this excuse and others to play down the seriousness of their actions.

THE CONCEPT OF VIOLENCE AS DEFINED IN THE STOP! PROGRAM

The program deals only with violence experienced by adolescents in their dating relationships with other adolescents. Although violence can and does exist in homosexual relationships, because of the limited amount of time available for the program the focus is on violence within heterosexual couples. The examples, therefore, do not reflect other types of relationships.

It cannot be denied that many forms of violence exist in relationships between adolescents of all ages. For this reason, preventive measures should be adopted as soon as adolescents begin dating.

The STOP! program defines violence as any behavior that hinders the personal development of another individual, compromising his or her physical, psychological or sexual well‑being. Thus

1.        According to the STOP! program, violence is an unacceptable behavior.
By definition, violence is not limited to physical abuse, but includes all other forms of violence, which may, sooner or later, lead to physical abuse.

The main cause of violence is social inequality between the sexes. Abusers express this inequality by controlling their partners and considering only their own ends, to the detriment of the other person. Some even go so far as to show contempt for their partners. Emphasis must be placed on the role that learning (e.g. a history of family abuse) and reinforcement (peer pressure) play in this violent behaviour.
Abusers are responsible for their own behavior.
Victims, especially of sexual abuse, are usually girls. As for physical abuse, the damage inflicted on girls is usually more serious than that inflicted on boys
The preceding statement in no way implies that girls are incapable of violent behavior. Often, their violence will be in the form of self‑defense. However, studies show that reciprocal violence, and even violence initiated by girls, does exist. Such violence among adolescent girls usually disappears in time, since it is not reinforced by society.'


3 Francine Lavoie et al., STOP! Dating Violence among Adolescents‑Classroom Activities (Quebec: ministère de l'Éducation, 1995), p. 2‑3.


CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES

This document contains the first section of the STOP! program, which includes classroom and complementary activities. Classroom activities consist of two 60‑ to 75‑minute periods. The Personal and Social Education program, as well as the Catholic Religious and Moral Instruction program, the Protestant Moral and Religious Education program and the Moral Education program lend themselves well to STOP! Themes. The themes may also be dealt with in other courses.

It is essential that the messages conveyed be reinforced so, that attitudes and behaviors begin to change. Schools are encouraged to commit to the project, and all school personnel to participate in the workshop.

The STOP! Program addresses two main themes: control and rights. The first step is to make students aware of dating violence among adolescents. Time should be set aside for the adolescents to become aware that this type of violence exists.
 

CAUSES OF VIOLENCE AMONG ADOLESCENTS


The Model on Which the STOP! Program Is Based

The social model attributes the causes of violence to, social inequality, stereotypes and values. Some examples of this are different socialization for boys and girls, sexism, and the oppression of women, which is to some degree condoned by society.

Also, there is a rather high level of tolerance toward violence, particularly toward violence against women. Some people also laud violence as an effective means of control. Others embrace violence to gain peer acceptance.

Finally, pornography, popular romance novels and music videos give people unrealistic and often unacceptable expectations of their partners.

Drug and alcohol use and sources of stress (e.g. difficulties in school or at home, financial difficulties) do not cause violence; they are used as excuses.


THE EFFECTS OF VIOLENCE

The effects of conjugal violence on women are physically and psychologically painful. Abuse may lead to health problems, from slight bruises to serious injuries or fractures, and even death.
It also has serious effects on mental health: social isolation, depression, drug and alcohol abuse and attempted suicide are all results of conjugal violence. A study conducted on 225 people who had attempted suicide revealed that 83 percent of them were abused women. Finally, this type of violence can lead women to take their frustrations and anger out on their children.
The aggressor is a prisoner of a means of expressing his feelings that makes him feel increasingly contemptible and guilty and increasingly unable to experience a satisfying relationship with his partner. He is drawn into a form of compulsive behavior to which he sees no alternative, for which he might be arrested and condemned, and lose his wife, children and place in society.
As witnesses to conjugal violence, children are vulnerable at every stage of their development. In the short and medium terms, the danger is twofold: their emotional stability and physical health are jeopardized by the violent episodes and tense atmosphere at home. This results in learning and socialization difficulties, violent behavior with peers and the appearance of psychosomatic complaints. [ .. 1 In the long term, in order to survive emotionally, these children develop a high level of tolerance for violence. They begin to accept these behaviors as "normal means of expression " and will duplicate them in their future relationships.(4)


Dating violence among adolescents has more or less the same consequences as conjugal violence. Adolescents grow up to be adults and repeat the same behaviors acquired and deemed acceptable within their social group. Neither the victim nor the aggressor feels at ease in a violent dating relationship.

As teachers, on one among us wants to see adolescents we know today featured in the headlines a few years from now as victims or perpetrators of conjugal violence.


4 Fédération des ressources d'hébergement pour femmes violentées et en difficulté au Quebec, La violence enfante la violence-Guide de sensibilisation à /a violence conjugale (Longueuil: n.p., 1992), p. 12-13. (Translator's note: This citation is a free translation.)